I want to appreciate good writers, but I also want to stack tires around the bad ones and set them on fire.  It’s a bit extravagant, and a nightmare cleanup, but it sends a clear message.  Don’t take it as bitterness. Even the so-called “successful” writers wind up producing stacks of well-bound and branded hog-shit.

That’s the tricky thing about writing.  The ego gets involved and everything runs into diarrhea.  You don’t have to be a writer to write.  The same way you don’t have to be a championship level competitive eater to put away three, lukewarm hotdogs in one inning.  Anyone can write.  

There’s no fighting the truth of it.  No novice is going to get lucky at karaoke night and make a hit record, but occasionally someone puts together a decent caption under their instagram photo.  Maybe it’s based on an experience, maybe they captured an emotion, or made a funny, but they did the thing.  

Now, it doesn’t mean they’re the next Bukowski.  They just got it right.  And they might get it right again at some point.  I’m all for that.  Writing isn’t an arena of scarcity.  It’s going to go on forever, I’d imagine.  In one form of advanced emoji-driven hieroglyphics or another, the communication form will live on.  It won’t all withstand the test of time.  Even the good stuff will burn up — ask the librarian of the Library of Alexandria.  

There is a difference between art and writing.  I wouldn’t propose it as two overlapping circles, but more like two stray bullets slamming together out of equal parts luck and precision.  Even the greats struggle at making the shot consistently. I’m not talking about a .300 batting average either.  I’m talking a .003.  Three times out of a hundred for the best to ever do it.  And that’s a generous estimation.  How’s that for a slap-shot sports analogy?  

The Mexican supplements that put pro athletes in the Hall of Fame don’t exist for writers.  I’m not saying good writers don’t use performance-enhancing drugs, I’m just saying the recommended dose is a touch more stabby.  A spectrum ranging from 5mg of Adderall to a mason jar filled with liquid LSD on an empty stomach — with booze shakes, liver failure, and mouth-frothing heroin overdose falling somewhere in between.  Factor in depression, insanity and the propensity for writers to blow-start their handguns and you’ll start to understand what we’re working with.