Ah.  Here we fucking go.  I don’t want to write about this subject because it’s been co-opted by cowards and waved around like a burning American flag.  The subject is…ugh…white privilege.  I can’t even say it without dry-heaving stomach acid fumes.  My fingers don’t even like punching it into existence, but here we are.

Before you stake what’s left of your charred flag, be open to the (dumb) idea of ‘white privilege’ and all of the inherent flaws that gather around it.  At the very base, what the fuck is this thing our silly culture has deemed ‘white privilege’?  

white privilege, as I understand it, is any benefit…ugh…white people receive, knowingly or otherwise, as a result of racism in our society.  

Please allow me to pull the tangled panties out of your sticky mousetrap with some caveats:

• Not all white people benefit from white privilege.

• Benefiting from white privilege doesn’t make the beneficiary racist in any way.

• People of all colors benefit based on their skin color as well.

• Less likely to get sunburned (example).

Does that make anyone feel better?  

Alright.  Back to this bullshit.  I think we can all agree, on some level, that racism exists in this country.  Let’s start there.  If you don’t agree with that, I don’t know what to tell you.

Why I have such a vehement distaste for the whole white privilege concept is that it is racism’s second-hand smoke.  Boil white privilege down and you inevitably get back to racism.  That’s all.  Why dress up the fucking pig?  Why coin this new term, white privilege, if the problem is racism?    

Most of us realize that racism exists.  Naturally, with racism, people with different colored skin will be treated differently.  When you treat people differently, for any reason, someone is going to bitch about fairness.  Leads us right back to racism (which we know is unfair).  Because white privilege is such a talking point, the most pathetic people in our society, media, has pumped it up.  Now, too many dorks are waving their flags, marching for, or against, racism’s second-hand smoke.  

Meanwhile, the racist continue to puff clouds of hate with three hands.  Don’t rebrand racism.  Racism is brutally divisive.  The entire platform of white privilege is a milder version of the same unnecessary division.  

Take race out of it, for a moment.  If someone said you, yes you, were receiving undeserved benefits.  And you took a step back, thought about it, and saw yourself in the same miserable middle-class position as everyone else — what would you think?  

We’re all full of ego and shit.  The last thing we want is to be labeled beneficiary for no reason and without reaping any rewards.  It separates “us” from “them” and plants more seeds of resentment.  Maybe you throw your hands up and say “Fuck that! I’m eating the same shit-sandwich as everyone else.”  Or maybe you try to prove how you haven’t received any undue benefits. Either way, it’s not a pleasant feeling.  

So here we are.  white privilege divides again.  Sure, some white people recognize some level of advantage (back to the results of regular ol’ racism). Some of these people stand up, or march, or shout, or hug people of color in order to show their solidarity.  But these weren’t racist to begin with.  Benefiting or not, they’re breathing in the same second-hand smoke that everyone else is.  Whether they enjoy the cheap head-high is ultimately irrelevant.  

All we have is more noise.  More division, more outrage aimed at the wrong targets.  And racism does what racism does.  

What people maybe don’t want to hear is that racism is…ugh…unfortunately…human nature?  It’s born from ignorance and fear and it exists across the globe.  

If I could snap my fingers and make everyone exactly the same hue, guess what?  People would, probably immediately, team up.  By nose shapes, or armpit funks, or shoe size, they’d join clans and haters would continue right on hating.  That’s how it works.  Some people are dumb and/or afraid, and that’s their basic operating system.  

I appreciate the enthusiasm to squash out racism and all of its dirty affiliates.  But putting lipstick on the pig of racism isn’t going to make the world any better.  Sure, in many ways, our society was built right alongside racism.  (As most societies have been).  It’s not fair for all skin colors.  But to grandstand on behalf of, or even in opposition to ‘white privilege’ is simply slapping pointlessly at clouds of second-hand smoke.  

I don’t have an answer.  Maybe invite a racist to your party.  Maybe show them pictures of black people and give them treats when they don’t shriek.  Maybe just talk to them as you would any regular (flawed) human and try to figure out where it comes from.  So long as they’re not actively hurting anyone (name calling doesn’t count), be nice to them, and be nice to their kids.  And maybe, after all of us are dead and gone, there will be a more interesting subject to write about, rather than lame-ass racism.