Trust Fund Kids Gone Wrong
To understand Julian Celine III, I must first acquaint you with his father. Julian the third is the son of well-to-do banker. Julian’s father wears a blue suit and with a red tie every day of the week, except Sunday. On Sunday, he exchanges his red tie for a more modest black tie. The suit jackets are tailored to fit his pare shaped torso, and the pants are let out far enough to clasp the button beneath his belly. Julian Senior, as they call him around the house, has no-nonsense eyes and a mouth like a judge’s gavel. In public he speaks to everyone as if they are constantly acting in his debt. His hair is balding aggressively, yet he insists on combing the sparse strands of hair over his shiny, sun spotted scalp.
For lack of a better description, Julian Celine’s father is a pretentions asshole. An extremely wealthy asshole, to which very few have ever confronted. Julian Celine III however, has managed to fall as far from the tree as physically possible. It is as if the tree that is Julian’s father is planted firm at the top of a steep hill and Julian III tumbled and rolled miles and miles away.
Julian III shops at second hand stores. He drives a car with fading paint and a rickety steering column. Julian’s main concern is functionality as opposed to his father’s image based behavior. When Julian visits his father’s gaudy mansion, which he only does on rare occasions, the elite banker insists that his son pulls quickly into the garage before anyone notices the condition of his vehicle.
Once his car is well hidden, his father greets him with a firm, calculated handshake. The two have little in common, so most of their conversation is centered around family updates and pompous bragging. Julian III listens halfheartedly to his father’s cascade of “problems.” Most of which are health and wealth related.
In most ways, Julian III acts in almost complete contrast to his father. Despite the trust fund, which has endowed Julian with more than enough wealth to never work a day in his life, Julian takes his hobbies seriously. I use the word hobbies only because they typically don’t produce an income in the sense that a job would. However, to Julian III, these hobbies are as important as any job.
Julian Celine III is a carpenter at heart, yet he rarely looks to make money off of his work. Most of the things he builds are donated or given away to friends. It’s normal for the tips of Julian’s fingers to be painfully caked with dirt and he’s continuously biting at them to remove splinters. Carpentry is a hobby which he enjoys fully, and has quite a knack, yet he lacks what most would call, passion for the art. Julian himself would be the first to admit this. It is one of the few shortcomings caused by his inherent wealth. With no need for money, and no true need to create, even when inspired, his mind is always somewhere else.
Julian appreciates the peace of mind that comes with having a wealthy father, but constantly wonders how his life would be if that weren’t the case. For as long as he can remember, his relationship with his father has been dull and distant. Even as a child, the two never truly had any bonding experiences. Julian III was always pawned off on a nanny while his father tending meetings, expensive diners, and frequent “business” vacations. Unfortunately, Julian’s mother died mysteriously at a young age, leaving her son with little or no memory of their relationship.
Although Julian’s passion does not lie fully in carpentry, he does find joy in a strange hobby he calls “leveling”. The interest sparked when Julian was a teenager after he witnessed his father in a rather ordinary situation.
In a chauffeured car, around Julian’s 14th birthday, the driver mistakenly hit a curb causing a flat tire. Julian’s father, concerned with being late for one meeting or another, unleashed a tirade of insults on the driver of the car. Mind you it wasn’t unusual for a driver to be sternly reprimanded and fired for the slightest infractions. In the middle of his verbal abuse, instead of allowing the cruelty, the driver returned fire in the form of several foul gestures, told Julian’s father to “fuck off,” and quit on the spot.
The shock of an employee talking back sent a shock and a surge of pulsing red into Julian’s father’s pudgy face. Both men exited the vehicle and continued their argument on the side of the road. Having already quit, the driver was unconcerned with any insults Julian’s father had to offer. After being demanded to change the flat tire, the driver simply laughed, shook his head, and walked away.
Julian watched with subtle amusement as his furious father fumbled with the tire iron. After several minutes of pathetic attempts, his father hurled the tire iron into the adjacent field, cursed, spat, and called for a new driver.
Julian III was happy that one of his father’s employees had finally stood up to the arrogant banker. From that day forward, Julian III was sure he wanted nothing to do his father’s lifestyle. He began learning to care for himself rather than relying on his father’s employees and nannies. Julian learned to work on cars, he began dabbling in woodwork, and for the first time in his life he ventured out to interact with common blue collar citizens.
Julian’s hobby, which he does whenever he can find reason, is an assimilation of the incident with his father and the driver. For instance, after becoming irritated with a condescending ad campaign for a high priced clothing company; Julian III sought his own retribution.
His plan was expensive but he knew the reaction would be priceless. Julian found a runway show scheduled for the particular high fashion clothing company. Instead of boycotting or protesting he came up with an idea to do things his own way. First he hired someone to produce an exorbitant amount of knockoff clothing emblazoned with the company’s logo. The clothes were made to look as close to identical to the actual product as possible.
After the knockoff clothing was created, Julian chartered four busses, stocked them with food and drink, and circled lower income cities hiring as many homeless people as possible for a one day job. The homeless people were each given a set of the knockoff clothing, which most of them wore over what they were already wearing, and shuttled to the fashion event. Once at the event, Julian III thanked them all for their help and handed each of them a general admission ticket to the designer’s release runway show and after party.
Julian’s exhibition of hired homeless people in knockoff clothing created such a disturbance in the show that the designer was forced to make a public apology. The designer and his brand floundered, eating his own condescending words while Julian watched with a smirk.
Some may label Julian’s hobby a destructive fetish, but each ridiculous idea makes him laugh more than the last. He makes sure each uncomfortable outcome only dissuades people like his father, and only benefits those in need. This hobby is the only way Julian III can justify spending his father’s trust fund money.